Sunday, February 15, 2009

1st of May

The 1st of May, 1942

Dear Margaret,
I know that I should have written sooner and that probably you are worried sick but I was held off by some sort of problem that had to be solved. I do not want you to be alerted, I find myself in a formidable condition and all keyed up with the idea of returning home.
Ah...sweet home, where all my happiness lies in all of you I miss and love. This strong motivation has helped me through these past three weeks and now I strongly believe I stand a fair chance in coming home: fatigued, with hair raising memories, a bit off color but determined to start again.
I have been shot two times in the back but thanks to a brave soldier my life was saved on the exact moment when I was on the verge of meeting the lady with the hatch. Efficient doctor intervention helped me preserve my life, but I confess I hate hospitals even more than the battle field. Even though the battle field showed me things I shall never erase from my memory, at least it does not have all these agonizing men in the same place as a constant remainder of the atrocities I have witnessed. Seeing them convinced me that I must have been born under a lucky star.
I do not want you to be concerned; I shall write another letter when they let me know where I will be dropped off. Kiss the kids and tell them Daddy will overcome all obstacles in order to see them.
I send you all my love,
Alfred

A tear dropped on the letter as Margaret put the pen down and started sobbing. She had written the letter she would have liked to receive from the love of her life and tried to assure herself that the letter she had received instead was not real. Why couldn't she receive this from Alfred? Well, she knew why...First of all Alfred and her had no children, at least not yet born. Because at Alfred's departure she had suspected she was expecting but said nothing. How foolish of her, she should have told him then and not wait for his return. Now she was pregnant, secretly married with Alfred and a widow without her father knowing anything.
Remembering her father sent a shiver down her spine. She forgot all about him, what was she going to do? The plan was to wait for Alfred and her father to come home from the war and then she and her husband could tell Colonel Winston that his daughter was now married. He would not have been happy but there was nothing he could do…however now the circumstances had changed.
Colonel Winston never liked Alfred, because the young man came from a wealthy family which did nothing to help the town where they lived or had any contact with anyone. The Colonel always said that Alfred knew nothing because he did not need to know anything; he had money and thus the Colonel was sure that Alfred was a presumptuous young man with no education or courage. It was the Colonel's fault that Alfred had gone to war. He could have stayed home with his family, who were rich enough to pay someone to "omit" their son from the lists. But Alfred wanted to prove the Colonel that he was full of qualities, was not scared of hard work and deserved Margaret, the beautiful daughter the Colonel had.
All this fight of characters led to Margaret receiving a letter from her father and a telegram on that fair day of spring.

Received at:
1st of May, 1942
Miss Margaret Winston
ON APRIL 30TH *STOP* SOLDIER QUIN, ALFRED *STOP* SUFFERED DEATHLY INJURY. STOP.
LETTER TO ARRIVE.STOP.
COLONEL THOMAS WINSTON. STOP.

So plain and so simple, as if he told her that Alfred would be a day late. She hated her father for sending her this telegram. He had known that she was deeply in love with Alfred and more than once tried to cut their love from the root but had failed. He wanted his daughter to marry Captain Hanson, a hard-working boy, who had lost his parents at four and who "did so well, Margaret, not like that good for nothing Quin!".
She hated Captain Hanson, so full of him, small in stature and with an annoying obsession of biting his nails just before dinner. His idea of a wife resembled more that of a servant. She had been so relieved when she had gotten married to Alfred, she felt safe and even more when she found out she was going to have his baby. Now things looked very scary. She would have to tell her father she was expecting Alfred's child and how she married him secretly. She knew the Colonel would be furious but that was not what frightened her. What scared her was the fact that the Colonel would do anything to cover the "shame" she brought him and would force her to marry the Captain so that the baby could be considered his. This was the last thing she wanted; Alfred's baby with that awful man as a father.
She knew she was pressured by time but the ultimatum arrived with the letter mentioned in the telegram.

Dear Margaret,
I find myself well enough after the terrible battle me and the Captain survived through. I shall be home in less than two months. I am sorry about Quin, I know you had feelings for him but time will make everything alright, not to mention the Captain, whom I expect you will devote your entire attention to, now.
Hope you are well,
Dad.

What was she to do? The first thought she had was to go to Alfred's family. They could provide for her and their grandchild. But she knew better than that; they would take her in and after the baby would be born they would deny her any rights. They were after all the richest family around and they hated the Colonel, whom they blamed for Alfred's foolish decision to join the Army.
All seemed lost until Amy, Margaret's best friend came to see her.
'Margaret! Margaret! You will not believe your eyes! You must come and see!'
Wiping her tears Margaret went outside to be shocked; almost 30 men passed her house and Amy was jumping up and down pointing at them. They were tall, blond, with a skin like brown sugar, resembling Roman statues. She went closer and couldn't believe her eyes. An officer approached her:
'Miss Winston, may I inquire about your father?'
'He finds himself in great condition, thank you officer. Who are these men?'
'Oh, they are Prisoners of War m'am, from Germany. The girls seem to like them, that is because they have not seen the things they have done.'
This gave Margaret an idea,
'Officer, what are you going to do with these men?'
'Well, the Government is not very sure about that. But until the war is over we will place some of them as workers on farms, or help at households. Why do you ask?'
'I was thinking, since my father left I find it hard to do all that needs to be done around the house. It is a very big house and I am only one. Would it be possible for you to assign one of these prisoners as a help at the Colonel's house?'
She knew that mentioning her father would seal the deal.
'Well Miss, I would have to clear it with my superiors but I don't see why not...'
In less than two days she would welcome into her house Hans Gunther, a 26-year old German. A very attractive 26-year old. But contrary to what Amy believed, this did not interest Margaret. She had a plan; Hans would be gone by the time her father would come home and she could claim he was the father of her child. It did strike her that this would not work in her best interest, but at least she would not be separated by her baby. Because now the Colonel, would not want to have anything to do with her. It was one thing to claim that Alfred's baby was Captain's Hanson, but to have a Nazi baby was a whole different thing. He had put his life at risk because of them and would refuse to acknowledge any German grandchild. This freed her for having to marry the Captain, and from Alfred's family, who would think she was a traitor for having a baby with a man whom Alfred had fought against and lost his life. All this disappointment in her, from those she knew, did not put her down. She was determined to do anything for the fruit of her and Alfred's love, no matter what others believed.
However, she felt sorry for Hans. He had behaved so proper, was polite and disciplined; she hated herself for doing this to him. But it was for a good cause, regardless of what anyone thought. She decided to clear her conscience and tell Hans her plan. She expected him to be upset and feared him getting violent. What she did not expect was him letting a tear stream on his bronzed face and say:
'Miss Winston, Ich feel that Sie sind a hero, or how you say it...that is why it would be meine honor to ask you to marry me!'
Margaret was shocked. It was not the first time her life would not go according to her plans and still every time she was baffled. She considered the offer. It did not seem fair to Hans and she did not know him. But there was always the thought of what was going to happen to her after her father and everyone in the town would reject her. How was she going to support herself and the little one?
With this though in mind, on the morning of June 22nd, Margaret left a letter on the table in the dining room:

Dear Father,
I find myself well enough after the news you sent me. So well that I decided you were right and Alfred was not everything. Shortly after your letter I met the POWs and one of them caught my eye. His name is Hans Gunther and since yesterday he is my husband. I know you will reject ever knowing me after having read this; that is why I take advantage of the fact that this is our last form of communication to let you know that Hans and I are expecting out first baby. Hope you and the Captain live a happy life and once you will remember having a daughter whose dreams you crushed without any kind of sensibility.
Margaret.

She knew her father would not be happy and neither was she but life was ironic and cruel so why should she be naive and do what everyone else expected her to do? Although happy with the decision she had taken she could not block the thought that she would live with a man, whose people killed Alfred less than two months ago. But she was determined not ever to go to that country where her late husband had taken his last breath. She would stay in town for now and find a way for Hans to stay with her after the war was over.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

sa stii k eu astept varianta mea editata...sa nu ma dezamagesti...

Diana said...

pe 3 mai....rabdare draga mea sora...rabdare

Alexa said...

care 3 mai? e deja 16 iunie si nu am primit nimic, sunt foarte dejamagita....